Genetics

Four of my children look nothing like their birthmother. For some of those kids I am their birthmother! When my oldest was little she was jealous because she wanted a birthmother. She was so excited when I told her she had a birthmother, too. "I do?! Who???!" I'll never forget her reaction when I said,"ME!" Such a crack up! This morning all the girls got their hair trimmed. When I saw the lock of one of the girls hair on the floor, it reminded me of a lock of my hair my mom had saved in my memory box from when I was that age. We saved today's lock and compared later. An exact match of color and texture. That is my only daughter who looks anything like her birthmother. I thought about my BFF and her birthmother...they have never met. All these years I have pictured my BFF's 1st mom looking like my BFF. Maybe she doesn't. I'll never forget how shocked we all were when my dark, tightly coiled BFF begot three straight haired blondes, one of whom looks like my BFF's sister who looks nothing like my BFF and does not have the same first parents. Got all that? I got such a kick out of a picture my BFF sent me the other day of her daughter after she had rolled her hair on drinking straws to do her best to look just like her mom. I have been told by kids and teens that they don't mind being adopted, they just wish they knew someone that looked like them. So, today when we saw a mother with very dark skin, hair and eyes, with her very blonde child, we all cracked up when one particular daughter exclaimed,"Wow! Look at that mom with her baby! You never see that!" Inside my head I thought "EXCEPT any time you and I stand side by side and look at our reflection in the mirror!!"

Father dies at Rangers game

You probably know. It is all over the news. The dear little boy. My boys love their daddy! I can't imagine. You can see how much this daddy loved his son. There they were in baseball gear three hours from their home. This dad probably dreamed of times like this on the day of his son's ultrasound. Who knows about his wife and if he has other children at home. Amazing that after a major head injury that this father said, "My son is alone up there." My thoughts quickly went to his son and what those first four hours must have been like before someone could get there for him.
This tragedy was played out in public. I believe with all my heart that those in this child's life are going to "get it" if he isn't doing so well, if he needs time or counseling. And because orphans and adoption are always on my mind, I thought about how egocentric we are as a society. How often has someone looked at me like I have three heads when I try to explain that a child losing their parent at any time is always tragic. When they are too young to have words to explain this primal wound...ugh! Dear kids!

Should I not even go there with the insensitive behaviors of the announcers? Why is it ok to act as if fans are stupid? Without fans, would announcers have jobs? How often do professional athletes make the news for stupid behavior? Often enough. I am sure these announcers feel horrible and stupid. Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

Leave it to Hollywood...

I read Mr. Popper's Penguins with my older kids long before Little Girl was born. They loved it and I loved hearing them laugh! I have intended to read Mr. Popper's Penguins with Farm Boy and Little Girl for...a very...long...time! Nothing like hearing there is a movie out to get me right on that. And they are loving it and laughing and even some of the olders are hanging out on the porch for a few chapters here and there. It will be a long wait for it to show up in the movie vending machine!

I'll never have a Wordless Wednesday because...

...I don’t know how to post pictures!

This Summer

We have been privileged to relax and play at our new home. After two years in a rental we are so happy to be back on a little farm again. Everyone feels more relaxed and more like ourselves again. When we left our previous home and headed out here, we didn't know how our own losses would help us help our new children. We had the privilege of coming here together. They will not come with their parents. While our experience has only given us the smallest view of their loss, I hope to never forget the stabbing ache in our hearts when we had to leave a place we so dearly loved. As it is, I feel all of our hearts straddle two worlds. One with a house that has not sold...a symbol of the hearts that have not let it go. The other, a tiny priceless gem we never would have considered in previous times, simply because the price was so low we would have missed it on a computer search! I love the personal growth these hard economic times have brought! Perhaps I wouldn't have known that they don't have to get over it. We aren't over it, but we all agree we are exactly where we need to be. And we are so happy! Now if I could just get myself to mean it when I pray for our other farm to sell!

Why the name?

I suppose it is a reminder to myself to stay focused and remember that very little we do on this earth matters. I want to stay focused on what does matter. I recently heard a priest say, "You need to free yourself from things that are sucking the life from you, so you can put on the yoke you were meant to carry." For me what does matter are children, the disabled, the orphan, the poor and the elderly.