Vote for Mom

Today at the end of mass, the priest gave a reminder that elections are this week. He said, "Be responsible Christians and get out and vote for the people you want to spend eternity with." Little Girl turned to me and whispered,"Vote for Mom!" Now, don't you think my little girl is PRECIOUS!

Two inspiring orphans...

I am currently reading Maria by Maria von Trapp and the new book about Steve Jobs. Both of these people made a personal decision not to live as victims. They have a very inspiring outlook on overcoming abandonment . If I was had readers I would recommend these two books.

Nine Mile Hike

The kids and I (along with 100 of their closest friends) went on a long, strenuous hike yesterday. There was elevation, giant boulders and great views! There was exhaustion, perseverance and great reward. I love how a great hike can be a metaphor for nearly everything: childbirth, adoption, school work. You bet I have already put that to use. Lessons aside, as I lifted my legs from the car when we got home last night, Farm Boy said, "Mom, are we still running in the morning?"... If you could have seen how I was walking up the steps at that moment...cracked me up.

I've got that airport goodbye feeling...

...tomorrow is the first day of school.

Our sacrifices only count in the first world

For my oldest two kids the biggest sacrifice is that they will most likely be in college when the new kids come home. They are sad that they won't really get to know them. Nothing we have done compares with the true sacrifice of knowing you have exhausted all hope and must place was your children for adoption. Nothing compares to the lifelong grief a child experiences the loss of their first family. We appreciate that in a tiny way our move across the country has given us a tiny glimpse of what it is to miss all you have known and loved. Yet, we never lost each other. Sigh. All of our other so called sacrifices have shown us we were way to excessive to begin with. So, for this Sunday and all other days, my prayer for my family on the other side of the world is, I hope since we're still waiting that you're still in each other's arms, because for the rest of your lives, there is no other place that your heart will really want to be.

A Waiting House con't

Each time our family has grown has been really special. This time has taken the cake! We began this process after years of begging on the part of the kids. Adopting again was something we also really wanted to do, but we knew we had a cross country move coming up first. Once we were settled enough we were able to begin the paper trail. Our youngest was five. Now our youngest is seven. WOW! Officially we have been waiting for 8 months. Anyone in the adoption work knows there are many months of waiting that go on before being official.
I think the most beautiful aspect this time around has been the sacrifices. The irony is, we moved to a smaller home so we could afford to have a bigger family! How God rewards! Sweet! We love our smaller home. What a revelation. We all have so much more time to have fun, because we divide and conquer and the dear house is clean! Other luxuries we have eliminated: a computer. Yep, I am typing this entire blog on my phone. Perhaps someday I'll send just leave ALL of auto-corrects very annoying changes. When we need a computer we go to the library. We've found it is actually fun because the entire family can play on computers at one rime. Other items in the list are: no dishwasher, disposal, cable tv, home phone, microwave,etc. and one car for one year tenting it vs. Hotels, simpler birthdays, simpler Christmas, almost exclusive thrift store shopping, no A/C until those kids are home, feeding the family on a detailed menu budget, no movies in the theatre, etc.
God has taught us and rewarded us. It wasn't that hot here this summer and we have been fine with fans. We have one plate per person and don't have really miss the dishwasher. Who needs a disposal when you were can feed scraps to your chickens.

We are a WAITING family

When I was about four years old, I had a book I loved called, The Waiting House. At that time I was the youngest in my family. The Waiting House seemed so mysterious. It was about a little kid, his/her parents and grandparents waiting for the arrival of a new baby. The mom was pregnant, but I didn't get that part. In fact I really didn't get any of it. I didn't know any pregnant people at that time. I also didn't know any babies. We lived in a two kid per family area and the families I knew were "complete" by the time I came around. The only baby I knew was some distantcousin who happened to have dimples just like me. It was all very egocentric on my part. Still that book held this special mystery and somehow made me feel sorry for this family because they had waited so long. My mom always seemed so sad when she read it. Now I understand why that I was four and she was sad because we hadn't been a waiting house for a long time. It wasn' t until I was in the 4th grade that my precious, adorable baby brother was born. I don't think a baby or young child has escaped my glance since that cold winter day. I have been blessed to have my own waiting house six glorious times. Adoption has been the hardest type of waiting house. But we are seasoned. THIS time we will continue to LIVE and not obsess. NOT!
When you live in a waiting house you always feel it. It's probably kind of like living in the line at the post office or the doctors office. You can be you, but somehow it's n t your regular you. From the moment you both know it is time to begin again, there is a brief knowing glance that says this is us now, our new theme until they are home...no matter how long that is.

Teens Babysitting: WHAT is the POINT

OK. So you do all the work getting them to be all responsible and everything. You pay for the CPR class, the babysitting class and the lifesaving class. After all, you still have young kids at home. Then your younger friends catch wind of it. They stay out really late. YOUR babysitter that you groomed for yourself thinks that is really cool because they are getting paid by the hour. You get to stay home and read just like you did when you were a first time parent and couldn't afford a babysitter. You get to stay up late just like you did when you were 25, but you aren't. But this time you do it fitfully because you are falling asleep and nervously because you have to worry about intruders and drunk drivers. Your friends don't have to worry about intruders and drunk drivers because they have a very responsible babysitter and they are driving your kid home later, so what could happen. You get to wake up at the crack of dawn because you've been responsible for so many years that that is what you do naturallllllly. I think what you get out of parenting teenage babysitters is that neither you or your teen spent any money and one of you actually made some.

Do we haaave to????

Oh, the whining and procrastinating that was going on at my house this morning! Gotcha ya'! I bet you thought I was going to turn around after yesterday's post and complain about the kids. Nope. Me! I am complaining about me! The kids and I are doing c25k. I didn't want to. They were ready. I was procrastinating to the point of taking care of my eyebrows first. Ha! So glad to have it done now. Funny thing is, I actually enjoy the program. Oh, I am on my nerves!

Teenagers are AWESOME!!!

When I had four children four and under, gloomy grouches greeted my darling gaggle with that charming phrase, "Just wait 'til they're teenagers." Thanks. That was really worth hearing. Well, guess what box-store shoppers, that fourth child is almost a teenager. These kids are awesome!! I am so sorry that you and yours didn't get to experience THIS! I have to say, my kids aren't unique...they have lots of fantastic friends. (No, they don't read this blog) There is no reason for life to be otherwise. When I see teenagers who are "like that", they have been told somehow that they are entitled. I do feel teenagers are entitled...entitled to be productive members of society! There is so much they are capable of. By being allowed to perform to the best of their ability people develop real self-esteem. The other kind of teenagers are the sad, miserable ones. Poor kids! All that effort and nothing gained!The irony is that their parents put happiness as a top priority. Go figure.

Genetics

Four of my children look nothing like their birthmother. For some of those kids I am their birthmother! When my oldest was little she was jealous because she wanted a birthmother. She was so excited when I told her she had a birthmother, too. "I do?! Who???!" I'll never forget her reaction when I said,"ME!" Such a crack up! This morning all the girls got their hair trimmed. When I saw the lock of one of the girls hair on the floor, it reminded me of a lock of my hair my mom had saved in my memory box from when I was that age. We saved today's lock and compared later. An exact match of color and texture. That is my only daughter who looks anything like her birthmother. I thought about my BFF and her birthmother...they have never met. All these years I have pictured my BFF's 1st mom looking like my BFF. Maybe she doesn't. I'll never forget how shocked we all were when my dark, tightly coiled BFF begot three straight haired blondes, one of whom looks like my BFF's sister who looks nothing like my BFF and does not have the same first parents. Got all that? I got such a kick out of a picture my BFF sent me the other day of her daughter after she had rolled her hair on drinking straws to do her best to look just like her mom. I have been told by kids and teens that they don't mind being adopted, they just wish they knew someone that looked like them. So, today when we saw a mother with very dark skin, hair and eyes, with her very blonde child, we all cracked up when one particular daughter exclaimed,"Wow! Look at that mom with her baby! You never see that!" Inside my head I thought "EXCEPT any time you and I stand side by side and look at our reflection in the mirror!!"

Father dies at Rangers game

You probably know. It is all over the news. The dear little boy. My boys love their daddy! I can't imagine. You can see how much this daddy loved his son. There they were in baseball gear three hours from their home. This dad probably dreamed of times like this on the day of his son's ultrasound. Who knows about his wife and if he has other children at home. Amazing that after a major head injury that this father said, "My son is alone up there." My thoughts quickly went to his son and what those first four hours must have been like before someone could get there for him.
This tragedy was played out in public. I believe with all my heart that those in this child's life are going to "get it" if he isn't doing so well, if he needs time or counseling. And because orphans and adoption are always on my mind, I thought about how egocentric we are as a society. How often has someone looked at me like I have three heads when I try to explain that a child losing their parent at any time is always tragic. When they are too young to have words to explain this primal wound...ugh! Dear kids!

Should I not even go there with the insensitive behaviors of the announcers? Why is it ok to act as if fans are stupid? Without fans, would announcers have jobs? How often do professional athletes make the news for stupid behavior? Often enough. I am sure these announcers feel horrible and stupid. Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

Leave it to Hollywood...

I read Mr. Popper's Penguins with my older kids long before Little Girl was born. They loved it and I loved hearing them laugh! I have intended to read Mr. Popper's Penguins with Farm Boy and Little Girl for...a very...long...time! Nothing like hearing there is a movie out to get me right on that. And they are loving it and laughing and even some of the olders are hanging out on the porch for a few chapters here and there. It will be a long wait for it to show up in the movie vending machine!

I'll never have a Wordless Wednesday because...

...I don’t know how to post pictures!

This Summer

We have been privileged to relax and play at our new home. After two years in a rental we are so happy to be back on a little farm again. Everyone feels more relaxed and more like ourselves again. When we left our previous home and headed out here, we didn't know how our own losses would help us help our new children. We had the privilege of coming here together. They will not come with their parents. While our experience has only given us the smallest view of their loss, I hope to never forget the stabbing ache in our hearts when we had to leave a place we so dearly loved. As it is, I feel all of our hearts straddle two worlds. One with a house that has not sold...a symbol of the hearts that have not let it go. The other, a tiny priceless gem we never would have considered in previous times, simply because the price was so low we would have missed it on a computer search! I love the personal growth these hard economic times have brought! Perhaps I wouldn't have known that they don't have to get over it. We aren't over it, but we all agree we are exactly where we need to be. And we are so happy! Now if I could just get myself to mean it when I pray for our other farm to sell!

Why the name?

I suppose it is a reminder to myself to stay focused and remember that very little we do on this earth matters. I want to stay focused on what does matter. I recently heard a priest say, "You need to free yourself from things that are sucking the life from you, so you can put on the yoke you were meant to carry." For me what does matter are children, the disabled, the orphan, the poor and the elderly.